There is this song titled, Nothing Is Impossible. We sang it yesterday at church, and I always get emotional when I sing it. Every time I hear this song, I am reminded of a cold, Sunday morning over two years ago. I woke up thinking…
God, I can’t do this.
God, I CAN’T do this!
God, I don’t know HOW to do this.
For those of you who don’t know me, my husband had been diagnosed with Burkitt’s Lymphoma a few months before this day. He had two large masses, and it had spread to his spinal fluid and bone marrow. He had spent most of the last two months in the hospital going through intense chemotherapy and hardly speaking.
At this point, I was so exhausted, mentally, physically, and emotionally, that part of me just wanted to pull the covers over my head and sleep, but I knew that if I could make it to church, I would feel better. If I could make it to church, I could sit and focus on God and His goodness instead of thinking about cancer.
I arrived at church on time and sat in an abnormal place for me. I was starting to feel recharged just from the hugs and smiles from my church family. Then, the worship team began to sing…
“Through You, I can do anything. I can do all things, for it’s You who gives me strength. Nothing is impossible. Through You, blind eyes are opened, strongholds are broken…… I’m not gonna live by what I see. I’m not gonna live by what I feel. Deep down, I know that You’re here with me. I know that You can do anything!”
I wanted to sing along but the words just wouldn’t come out. I hadn’t been able to sing for a couple of months, since John had been diagnosed. Every time I opened my mouth to try, the uncontrollable tears and emotion began. At this moment, all I could do was stand there, raise both hands straight up and let the tears roll, knowing that this song was meant for me on this day…. knowing that God saw me and was reassuring me of HIs faithfulness.
Had my situation changed? No. Had I been changed? Yes!
I began to think…
I can do this.
With God’s help, I CAN do this.
Correction….. WE can do this….
One day at a time….
And, we DID do it.