Necessities for the Middle-Aged Woman

When I was a kid, I thought that 30 was middle age. Now, I think of 30 as a young adult. Funny how your perspective changes as each year passes.

Being a middle-aged woman (ouch, that hurt to say that!!!), I have come up with a list of necessities. So, for all of you other women out there in my category, grab you a fan and a chocolate bar and read on!

MAW Necessity #1:
Spanx or any other sort of binding hard-to-breathe-can’t-bend-over spandex under garment. Yes, this is a necessity. If you think it is not, you are either in denial OR you are one of those ladies that exercises two hours a day and only eats carrot sticks and lettuce and in that case, I don’t like you. (JK😜…. Not really…. Yes, I’m joking! ….. Not really)

I was in Macy’s this week and I pretty much buy clothes when they are half of half off. I was having the sales lady check the prices on my clothes as she was ringing them up and I would tell her whether or not I wanted it. When she rang up my Spanx, I didn’t say anything. She said “ma’am you realize these are not on sale, right? And they are $68?” I said “ma’am, you realize that I am 5’1″ and a size ___? Therefore, that is a necessity. I don’t care what it costs.”

MAW Necessity #2:
Bronzer – gives you a healthy glow; a sparkle, a glimmer to your dull skin. I bought this for myself for my last birthday! I wear the brand called Too Faced – and the color is called Snowbunny! (That should automatically make you feel younger and sexier, right?)

It depends on my mood for how much I put on– low self esteem day = lots of bronzer! SO, if I show up with my face sparkling like a ✨Cullen, ✨you know I really need a hug!!!

MAW Necessity #3:
A portable fan –
You never know when you might need it! A few years back, my sister, Sherry, and I went to this music conference in Hot Springs, Arkansas. It was an August day and the AC went out in our particular meeting room. During our lunch break, we decided to go to Walmart and buy one of those little personal fans like you would use at an amusement park. We found this little necklace fan that was called an iFan! It looks like an old school iPod. How cute! Just what we needed! You push a button and it blows air out of the top and onto your face. Hands-free!!! We marched back into our meeting with our iFans around our necks. When we sat down, we turned them on. They weren’t exactly silent! Hahaha. Can you say dork??? BUT, we didn’t have red faces and pit stains like all the others!

Btw, I would really like to wear my iFan while singing in the choir at church but I’m not sure how Pastor Dave would feel about that! 😳🎵

MAW Necessity #4:
A good friend to laugh with –
Ladies, we wear many hats and stress is lurking in the bushes waiting to attack us!

Laughter is good medicine for anyone!!! It’s so much funner with a friend or a sister.

My sister, Michelle is one of those people that can just make you double over with the things she says. We are grown women and to this day, we cannot sit beside each other in church!!! It is kind of embarrassing to be snorting and crying uncontrollably from laughter in the middle of the sermon!

As a child, we had our arms pinched many a time by our mother in service. You know that part at the back of your arm that is real tender and soft? That’s the spot. That hurts!!! Anyway, get a giggle buddy!

MAW (possible) Necessity #5:
Medication –
Don’t be ashamed!
If you need it, get it.
Use it.
End of discussion.

Your family and coworkers will thank you for it! 😉

MAW Necessity #6:
A patient and kind man-
A man that, when you are crying and ranting, will say “honey, I’m sorry you had a bad day. What can I do to make it better?”

They do exist! I have one! It took a few (or 20) years to train him😜but he is amazing!!! ❤️

This necessity should really be at the top of the list! I’ll tell him that I saved the best for last! It’s true.

So, there are the necessities for the middle-aged woman according to me. I’m pretty sure there are lots more, but this is a good start!!! 😉

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